A Modest Proposal

[chickenfeet]

At an unusually early hour this morning I found myself trolling the right wing depths of the blogosphere for an alternative view of the new orleans situation than that provided by my commie-pinko friends list. I have seen the light.

Firstly it seems that the anti-social behaviour observed in New Orleans this last week was precipitated by the molly coddling the poor have received from the various subversive elements that have run New Orleans and Louisiana in recent years. They now have no sense of honour and responsibility as can readily be seen by their undisciplined procuring of food and drink when any properly responsible and God fearing citizen would have starved in the approved manner. The reason for this, it appears, is that Louisiana is soft on crime. Specifically there are not nearly enough custodial sentences. My mentor has a point. At any one time only a minority of black American males are in prison and some go a whole lifetime without being incarcerated. The situation among females is even worse. True, ten times as many black women (proportionately) go to jail as whites but it's still a wholly inadequate number. If true discipline is to be restored all blacks must be imprisoned and made to do socially redeeming labour (for that way it will be self-financing thus saving the inmates from the soul destroying cancer of being dependent on government hand outs as well, providentially, as freeing up funds for more worthy causes such as invading small oil rich countries). Now my mentor appears to think that ordinary jails and state penitentiaries will suffice for this purpose but I think he is perhaps naive about the degree to which this bold initiative will be misrepresented by Liberal Media and Establishment. Some cosmetic packaging is surely justifiable when one is so manifestly doing the Lord's Work so I modestly propose that these new establishments should be known as "plantations". I think that sets the right, friendly, rural tone. It may reasonably be argued that most of the expertise in running such establishments has been lost in this decadent, atheistic age but I feel sure that there are plenty of appropriately experienced white South Africans of impeccable political and religious view who would welcome the chance to come to a truly progressive and forward thinking country. After all, why should expertise with a sjambok not qualify one for an H-1 visa?

Secondly, I learn that the hurricane was an Act of God such as the Lord brought down on the Cities of the Plain (another suspiciously low lying area). I'm having more trouble with this one. It's not that I don't think that the Lord shouldn't smite The Ungodly. Let's face it, what's the point in taking a couple of hours out of your Sunday morning plus all those bake sales if The Ungodly aren't going to get smitten occasionally? The trouble is there just doesn't seem to be a whole lot of consistency in it. Well maybe that's not true. Come to think of it it always seems to be the poor that get smitten. Maybe they go to the wrong church or something. Maybe it's the God they worship at the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Rich Folks that's doing the smiting? Maybe He just isn't dead keen on spirituals? Then there's the bit about passing a camel (the SUV of 1st century Palestine?) through the eye of a needle. Obviously I'm missing something here. Perhaps I've just been corrupted by CNN and Fox and the rest of the Liberal Media?

Maybe I'll find enlightenment on the road to Damascus, assuming that Syria is next on the hit list.

Comments

[rahael.livejournal.com]

Yep, a wander through right-wing plains, and indeed libertarian plains is indeed enlightning.

Comments about certain sections of American society by other sections made me very very very angry. Your post captures the tone perfectly!!

[frankie-ecap.livejournal.com]

Thank you. I didn't think that anything about this appalling and tragic mess could make me smile, but this has done.

[nanila]

A most amusing Swiftian tribute, sir, thank you.

[meirion.livejournal.com]

Let's face it, what's the point in taking a couple of hours out of your Sunday morning plus all those bake sales if The Ungodly aren't going to get smitten occasionally?

....

if i thought that were a likely end result of my going to Mass of a Sunday, i wouldn't go.

smiting doesn't come into it. whether we love our neighbours as much as we ought to does. whether i'm failing to love my neighbour enough by not volunteering to help in NO (no matter that they'd reject my help anyway) is a matter between me and my spiritual director (and i'm guessing the answer to be "no" here, actually).

-m-

[ironed_orchid]

I feel sure that there are plenty of appropriately experienced white South Africans of impeccable political and religious view who would welcome the chance to come to a truly progressive and forward thinking country

It's your attention to detail that really impresses me.

[jen-c-w.livejournal.com]

:(

Oh dear. This isn't about my blog is it...?
Incidentally, Damascene, is it a word? I talked about Clarke's damascene conversion to the anti-euro side, and was told that damascene means covered in wavy patterns.
Incidentally, mathmetatics, really? I'd have gone for politics, then history, then english lit, then classics...maths would have been a long way down the list.
re white south africans, I prefer them coming to England thks. x

[rufus.livejournal.com]

er. hi. i'm wandering friends of friends lists. this post was interesting. I have only one comment: Fox is the leading conservative mouthpiece. (or maybe you found something to the *right* of Fox News? In which case: eeek!)

[lemur-man.livejournal.com]

I'm almost tempted to see what the Randian objectivists are saying. Probably that those who remained in New Orleans were weak and that helping them is futile collectivist nonsense.